Please don't make a Halo movie. Unless . . .

Let's take a trip into the not so distant future. You've camped out for days just to buy your ticket. You've stood in line with hundreds of others for hours talking about your favorite moments from the the game. You take your seat in between the 37 year old comic book shop owner and the foul mouthed 14 year old with the gamertag "MstrCheef99". Half your popcorn is gone and you're debating on whether you should take a restroom break now because you know the frozen Mountain Dew that is giving you brain freeze is going to kick in about half-way throught the credits. But just as you're about to get up, the house lights go down, the curtains part, the slideshow advertising the local community college turns off, and the credits begin to run.

You're about to watch Halo: The Movie and not even a Covenent invasion could tear you away from the big screen for the next two-and-one-half hours.

Two-and-one-half hours later . . .

Your popcorn is gone, your frozen Mountain Dew is making its presence known, and your denial is setting in. Maybe it's because your walking out of the theater at 3am, maybe it's because the guy walking out next to you smells like he hasn't showered in a month, but maybe it's because the movie didn't live up to your expectations.

You make the decision to go home and get some sleep saving your reservations about the movie until you see it a second time later on that day.

It's 3pm, you've seen it twice, and you can't deny the fact that you're going to have to make excuses to all the PS3 fanboys online because the movie based on the greatest fps ever stinks.

This is a scenario that no Halo fan wants to face. So listen up Microsoft, Peter Jackson, or whoever else will be involved in a Halo movie if it ever happens . . . PLEASE DON'T MAKE A HALO MOVIE!

Unless . . .

The character of Master Chief is completely CG. In fact, maybe the entire movie should be CG. One of the things that makes the Halo Universe so appealing is it's look. If the star of the film, looks like a guy in a Master Chief holloween costume, then heaven help us all.

And unless . . .

The story is based on Halo: Combat Evolved. At first I thought it would be nice to make the Halo movie a prequal to the first game, but it really doesn't make sense to have a Halo movie without an actual halo ring. The story of the first game was the best because of all the mysteries it explored. Who is this super soldier named Master Chief? What is the Covenent and why are they trying to erase humanity? Who are the Forerunners? What are these little parasites that keep bursting forth from other creatures? A film about the final stand of the humans aboard The Pillar of Autumn is the way to go.

And also unless . . .

Sergeant Major Avery J. Johnson's story is told as well. Master Chief is a one of the greatest video game protagonists of all time, but Sergeant Johnson's role in the destruction of the first halo must be told as well. Running around as Master Chief and gunning down Grunts is a blast (pun intended), but watching that on the big screen for 2.5 hours doesn't make for a masterpiece. If the movie is going to be accepted by more than just the die hard Halo fans, you've got to make the audience love the characters. There's no better character to develop than Sergeant Johnson.

And finally unless . . .

The soundtrack is composed by Martin O'Donnell. A good soundtrack can turn even a bad movie into something that is watchable (i.e. Purple Rain or Armaggedon). O'Donnell's soundtrack to the games is more than worthy of being the soundtrack to the movie. Without the familiar sounds of singing choirs, full string orchestra's, and the occasional electric guitar thrown in, it's just not Halo.